I was entering the gym when someone blocked my way - a friend of mine whom I haven't seen in a while. Kumustahan kami habang iniabot sa reception ang mga membership cards namin for verification. I suggested that we work out together. He agreed to follow what I was planning to do that night. Back and biceps workout ang plano ko eh.
Prior to meeting him, I had pork sinigang and lechong kawali and the ulam was a little too much and tasty, that one cup of rice wasn't enough. Talo-talo na ang Century tuna hot bod na pinaghirapan ko. Chos!
When the recep handed back our cards, we went up to the locker room to change. Nung nasa changing room na kami, we chose na magkatabing locker and as he saw me undress, he quipped, "kala ko may abs ka." It's like saying, "pumayat ka lang, pero wala ka naman palang pandesal."
"Kashe I wash bagong-kaehn eh," sa loob-loob ko. "Hindi ako nagka-crunches eh. Tamad akong mag-sit ups," nasabi ko.
Actually, five months ago, ako ang stocky, sya ang totoy-balingkinitan. Ngayon, ako ang payat, sya naman ang tumaba, pero di tabang stocky, kundi bumilog lang ang mukha at nagkabilbil lang nang kaunti. Biente-dos eh. Pag bata pa o batang-tignan, keri ang baby fats.
So, back exercises. Pull ups, rows, lat pull downs, machines, crunches, bicep curls, spiral curls, cupid curls, corkscrew curls - ay, mali! At 30 minutes sa treadmill. Todong workout talaga. Isa't kalahating oras kami sa gym para matunaw ang kinain ko, at para gutumin sya nang lubos.
"Marami-rami kakainin ko nito mamaya," sabi nya.
"Uy, sira ka. Sayang winork-out natin ngayon. Ano ba kinakain mo sa gabi?"
"Ampalaya." Ok. Pwede.
"Sardinas... na may itlog". Sarsyado. Sabi ko, tanggalin ang pula. Ayaw nya.
"Chicken." Pwede, tanggalin lang ang balat.
"Balat? Eh chicken popcorn yung binili ko." Ayos.
"Invite kita sa kasal ko." Aniya, after a few minutes of concentrating on our run. Nasa treadmill kami, tumatakbo.
"Sino tong pakakasalan mo?" Ikako.
"Katrabaho ko."
Recollecting Bien's entry, naintriga ako sa sitwasyon nya.
"Ano pangalan?" tanong ko.
Binanggit nya ang name na hindi pangalan ng pakakasalan ni Bien. Hahaha. Baka magkonek eh. Hindi naman pala. Hehehe.
"Bakit mo naman pakakasalan?" sabi ko.
"Nagkabiruan lang. Ambait kasi. So sabi ko, pag ganyan ka palagi sa akin, pakakasalan kita. Matapos nun, binabanggit na nya sa akin yung tungkol dun."
"Ganun? Gaano katagal na ba kayong magkakilala at gaano katagal na kayong kayo?"
Sabi nya, dalawang taong magkakilala at ilang buwan nang sila. Pero di pa final ang lahat. Pinag-iisipan nya ang bagay. Kelangan pa niyang pag-aralan ang relihiyong Muslim ng isang taon kung pakakasalan nya yung katrabaho nya.
Kahit ako, na-bore sa sinusulat ko. Anyway...
I wish him well. All the best, talaga.
Magkikita uli kami mamaya for chest, shoulders, and triceps exercise.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Back to Basics
Multi-tasking bonanza ang tema ng linggong ito. I'm finishing programming tasks at work, catching up on my blog list, reviewing for upcoming interviews, preparing for a presentation, and blogging. Kung mga bolang crystal ang mga nabanggit, para na akong nagsi-cirque du soleil sa desk - with matching somer sault at one-hand balancing stand sa chair. Bunggang bunggang bungalow!
Naisip ko na ring isulat ang blog entry na ito. Kasi, sa tinagal ko dito sa trabaho, sobrang malala na ang comfort zone ko at bumaba na ang learning curve ko sa field dahil routinary na ang lahat ng ginagawa ko. Hindi rin naman ako nabibigyan ng bagong gawaing-bahay at pakiramdam ko eh hinhintay na rin akong magpaalam.
Na-realize ko rin na madami na akong nakalimutang konsepto na kelangang balikan at aralin. Mga bagay na ginagawa ko pero hindi mo na maalala kung ano ang tawag. Palibhasa, napalitan na ng mga terminong sex, blowjob, felatio, sixty nine, sauna, anal, at kung ano ano pang bagay ang laman ng brain cells ko. I need to refresh. I need to get back to basic knowledge.
Kung dati, ang motto ko sa buhay ay "pwede na itey". Ngayon, ang mantra ko, "don't settle for anything less."
Malapit na rin ang isang maikling bakasyon.
Naisip ko na ring isulat ang blog entry na ito. Kasi, sa tinagal ko dito sa trabaho, sobrang malala na ang comfort zone ko at bumaba na ang learning curve ko sa field dahil routinary na ang lahat ng ginagawa ko. Hindi rin naman ako nabibigyan ng bagong gawaing-bahay at pakiramdam ko eh hinhintay na rin akong magpaalam.
Na-realize ko rin na madami na akong nakalimutang konsepto na kelangang balikan at aralin. Mga bagay na ginagawa ko pero hindi mo na maalala kung ano ang tawag. Palibhasa, napalitan na ng mga terminong sex, blowjob, felatio, sixty nine, sauna, anal, at kung ano ano pang bagay ang laman ng brain cells ko. I need to refresh. I need to get back to basic knowledge.
Kung dati, ang motto ko sa buhay ay "pwede na itey". Ngayon, ang mantra ko, "don't settle for anything less."
Malapit na rin ang isang maikling bakasyon.
Monday, July 26, 2010
James Joyce Jimenez
I was listening to the morning rush top 10 podcast for date 22-July-2010, and they mentioned the website http://iwl.me/. This website analyzes the writing style based on certain paragraphs that one enters in the website's text box. I entered an excerpt from my previous blog post "Interpretations of In Somnis Veritas by Red the Mod (part I)". The result that I got was: I write like James Joyce.
How about you, what's your writing style like? I know we believe in individuality and originality and how a single piece of writing may not fully describe the entirety of our style, but I was just curious as to whom my writing would be compared. Look at my badge below.
Addendum: I tried entering another set of paragraphs from one of my drafts and the result was another badge: Elizabeth Barret Browning. Echos! Leo Tolstoy naman daw. For fun lang.
How about you, what's your writing style like? I know we believe in individuality and originality and how a single piece of writing may not fully describe the entirety of our style, but I was just curious as to whom my writing would be compared. Look at my badge below.
Addendum: I tried entering another set of paragraphs from one of my drafts and the result was another badge: Elizabeth Barret Browning. Echos! Leo Tolstoy naman daw. For fun lang.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday Ala Mode
[Carrie:] Biencei...
[Biencei:] What?
[C:] Over there
[B:] What?
[C:] Look
[B:] Where?
[C:] Hold up don't turn your head. Just slowly turn your head
[B:] oh yes
[C:] That Chinese guy is looking at our direction
[B:] Girl...
[C:] He's definitly checking you out
[B:] No. He's checking you out.
[C:] You're the one facing his direction, he's checking you out.
Dinoktor na lyrics ng Apple Pie Ala Mode ng Destiny's Child. Nag-eechusan kami ni Bien aka orally yours. Yes, we had an SEB. A special eye ball. Ching-a-ling. It was our second time to meet, this time it was for dessert. I made kulit to him to make libre for some ice cream. He succumbed to my desires - este, request.
He was kind enough to accommodate me last night. Super duper thankaloo sa cherry garcia at dark choco ice cream on waffle. It definitely satisfied my craving for some sugar... daddy. Echos!
Dalawa lang nakuha kong photos. Tama na yan for an seb with a blogger.
Sa tingin nyo, alin ang mas masarap kainin, yung nasa ibabaw ng lamesa o nasa ilalim? Hahahaha! Echos lang. Walang mahalay mendez na nangyari sa amin, noh. Purely wholesome meet up lang. Wala nang iba! Wag nang mag-speculate, please. Friendly get-together lang ang lahat. Ako na ang Secretary of Defense (defensive)! Hahaha!
I had a great time chatting with Bien last night. Next time, libre kita sa hawker cenner. Choz! I love you, mare.
[Biencei:] What?
[C:] Over there
[B:] What?
[C:] Look
[B:] Where?
[C:] Hold up don't turn your head. Just slowly turn your head
[B:] oh yes
[C:] That Chinese guy is looking at our direction
[B:] Girl...
[C:] He's definitly checking you out
[B:] No. He's checking you out.
[C:] You're the one facing his direction, he's checking you out.
Dinoktor na lyrics ng Apple Pie Ala Mode ng Destiny's Child. Nag-eechusan kami ni Bien aka orally yours. Yes, we had an SEB. A special eye ball. Ching-a-ling. It was our second time to meet, this time it was for dessert. I made kulit to him to make libre for some ice cream. He succumbed to my desires - este, request.
He was kind enough to accommodate me last night. Super duper thankaloo sa cherry garcia at dark choco ice cream on waffle. It definitely satisfied my craving for some sugar... daddy. Echos!
 |
| Bien in black |
I had a great time chatting with Bien last night. Next time, libre kita sa hawker cenner. Choz! I love you, mare.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Game Time
Bored ako sa work, at walang mai-post. So, mag-post ako ng guessing game ala words with blogger friends.
How fast can you guess these words? Guess and time yourselves, my (handful of) readers.
1. BOO_S
2. _ _ NDOMS
3. P_N_S
4. F_ _ K
5. PU_S_
6. S_X
How fast can you guess these words? Guess and time yourselves, my (handful of) readers.
1. BOO_S
2. _ _ NDOMS
3. P_N_S
4. F_ _ K
5. PU_S_
6. S_X
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Missing A Lot
I hate myself for not booking any ticket to Manila this month. I have so missed a lot: Kane's birthday ball, and the book launch. And this time, the Saturday Soju party. Ok, I just assumed na baka maimbitahan ako (kung nasa Manila akes), kasi friend ko naman si McVie. Pero kung hindi, gate-crash na lang ako sa party. Echoz.
I am like yaya - such a loser.
I am like yaya - such a loser.
MBLAQ
(more info on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MBLAQ)MBLAQ, (엠블랙, an acronym for Music Boys Live in Absolute Quality) is a South Korean quintet boy band created by Korean pop R&B singer Rain under his label J.Tune Entertainment. The members include Yang Seung Ho (양승호). Jung Byung Hee (정병희) Lee Changsun (이창선) Park Sang Hyun (박상현) Bang Cheol Yong (방철용). The group debuted in October 9, 2009 at Rain's Legend of Rainism concert. On October 14, 2009 the group released their debut single album, "Just BLAQ", which topped various on-line and off-line music charts in South Korea.[1] The group then released their second single Y in May 18, 2010.
I just like the first ten seconds where I think features Rain's yummy back. I think.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Despite the Despicable
As I think about the question of whether I'd choose someone who likes me over someone whom I like, or the other way around, I just wished I'd find someone with mutual sentiments.
Yung previous relationship ko, my ex loved me more than I loved him. I ended up taking him for granted. I ended up cheating behind his back. I ended up manipulating him.
This time, I think I like the person more than he likes me. Ikanga ni Mugen, ang unang magsabi ng "I love you" ang talo. He once teased nga "Mahal mo na ko, no. Sabihin mo nang I love you." To which I replied, "I'd like to. Actually, I love you na". Ampotah, Marymount School for girls lang.
"... but I wanna say it in the right time... And isn't it much sweeter if the other person replies back with the same?" Not that I was expecting it; just stating an ideal. OK. I was kinda expecting it.
Oo na, graduate na ko ng Assumption batch 1970, at heto pa rin ako ngayon. Set aside nyo muna ang judgment. Marinate for 24 hours, ok?
Looking back at the time I said that, I think I laid out everything on the table.
Last weekend, I caught "Despicable Me". I went to see it alone, kasi gusto kong malibang. Gusto kong lumihis ang isip ko sa taong kinahuhumalingan ko. In the end, hindi ako nalibang. Nabowang lang ako sa nangyari sa akin. Cry me a river ang soundtrack ng pelikula. Crayola oil pastel talaga ang tema ng araw. It was because of this little girl named Agnes in the movie. She was the girl with the doll unicorn.
This is how I loved Agnes, and how she made my eyes well up. Despite the despicable appearance of Gru, Agnes the little girl embraced him and never let go (she was hanging on to his leg during the time Gru picked them up to be brought home). She was excited, more than the other two girls Margo and Edith. In another scene, when the doll unicorn was disintegrated, she didn't throw any tantrums. She held her breath and passed out (or so it seemed) until Gru gave in. When her doll was replaced by a sloppy improvisation of her favorite toy, she did not complain. She even said it was beautiful.
She was the perfect example of pure, innocent love. She was the innocence that vanished in my heart long, long time ago.
Agnes broke my heart into a million pieces. I loved her more than the cute yellow minions of Gru in that movie. Agnes' character looked through the eyes of love. And I wished I had that innocence, the vision through love, and the heart of the pure. No matter how much she loved and lost something, she never lost the love she had in her heart.
My soul, my heart, my self are very wounded and jaded. My emotions are much attached to the material, to what is seen and felt, and not to what is essential. I have obsessed myself on someone I barely know, someone I almost opened my heart and soul to, someone who I feel and suspect doesn't care much about me.
Syet, sumerseryoso ang tono ko. Nag-eemmodium na naman ako.
Anywhoo, my friends and my readers have supported me and have given me advice to get over this emotera and pathetic state. Ang hirap, but I'm trying.
Ano na nga ulit ang point ko? Ah! Short term amnesia, kumusta ka?
If I'd choose someone who likes me over someone whom I like, or the other way around, I wished I'd find someone with mutual (and equal) sentiments. But that's impossible. Either one of us would have a greater passion for the other. One would have a greater obsession over the other.
Yun lang. May mai-blog lang. Choz.
Paano ba maging ikaw, baklang cockroach? Yung tipong aabot ng 500th monthsary ang episode ng buhay?
Yung previous relationship ko, my ex loved me more than I loved him. I ended up taking him for granted. I ended up cheating behind his back. I ended up manipulating him.
This time, I think I like the person more than he likes me. Ikanga ni Mugen, ang unang magsabi ng "I love you" ang talo. He once teased nga "Mahal mo na ko, no. Sabihin mo nang I love you." To which I replied, "I'd like to. Actually, I love you na". Ampotah, Marymount School for girls lang.
"... but I wanna say it in the right time... And isn't it much sweeter if the other person replies back with the same?" Not that I was expecting it; just stating an ideal. OK. I was kinda expecting it.
Oo na, graduate na ko ng Assumption batch 1970, at heto pa rin ako ngayon. Set aside nyo muna ang judgment. Marinate for 24 hours, ok?
Looking back at the time I said that, I think I laid out everything on the table.
Last weekend, I caught "Despicable Me". I went to see it alone, kasi gusto kong malibang. Gusto kong lumihis ang isip ko sa taong kinahuhumalingan ko. In the end, hindi ako nalibang. Nabowang lang ako sa nangyari sa akin. Cry me a river ang soundtrack ng pelikula. Crayola oil pastel talaga ang tema ng araw. It was because of this little girl named Agnes in the movie. She was the girl with the doll unicorn.
This is how I loved Agnes, and how she made my eyes well up. Despite the despicable appearance of Gru, Agnes the little girl embraced him and never let go (she was hanging on to his leg during the time Gru picked them up to be brought home). She was excited, more than the other two girls Margo and Edith. In another scene, when the doll unicorn was disintegrated, she didn't throw any tantrums. She held her breath and passed out (or so it seemed) until Gru gave in. When her doll was replaced by a sloppy improvisation of her favorite toy, she did not complain. She even said it was beautiful.
She was the perfect example of pure, innocent love. She was the innocence that vanished in my heart long, long time ago.
Agnes broke my heart into a million pieces. I loved her more than the cute yellow minions of Gru in that movie. Agnes' character looked through the eyes of love. And I wished I had that innocence, the vision through love, and the heart of the pure. No matter how much she loved and lost something, she never lost the love she had in her heart.
My soul, my heart, my self are very wounded and jaded. My emotions are much attached to the material, to what is seen and felt, and not to what is essential. I have obsessed myself on someone I barely know, someone I almost opened my heart and soul to, someone who I feel and suspect doesn't care much about me.
Syet, sumerseryoso ang tono ko. Nag-eemmodium na naman ako.
Anywhoo, my friends and my readers have supported me and have given me advice to get over this emotera and pathetic state. Ang hirap, but I'm trying.
Ano na nga ulit ang point ko? Ah! Short term amnesia, kumusta ka?
If I'd choose someone who likes me over someone whom I like, or the other way around, I wished I'd find someone with mutual (and equal) sentiments. But that's impossible. Either one of us would have a greater passion for the other. One would have a greater obsession over the other.
Yun lang. May mai-blog lang. Choz.
Paano ba maging ikaw, baklang cockroach? Yung tipong aabot ng 500th monthsary ang episode ng buhay?
Friday, July 9, 2010
On Being a Bekimon
Knowsline chinatown konachi that my bunsong kapatid is a jejemon. Pero chiz whiz ko yata ma-attain boom boom ang pagiging bekimon belle. Ang jirap kayang magjulat at mag-hanashi na katulad ng isang full pledged bekimon boom boom kylie. Imagine, ang tawa ng bekimon - bekbekbek!or bakekekekekeke... syet.
Bekimon is amusing.
Andami kong natutunan kay Bekimon. Portugal (matagal), capital M! capital M! M! M! M! for emberna mae (imbyerna, or inis or asar), "correctional, babaeng kriminal, nahulog sa kanal, patay!" (translation: tama ka jan, teh) at Mesopotamia (supot). Hahaha. Kalokah. If you follow the Bekimon series on YouTube, That's Entertainment na, sineskwelang pambeki mae pa.
Watch na lang kayo nito: what if Bekimon ang newscaster? Happy weekend, mga utawbelles!
Bekimon is amusing.
Andami kong natutunan kay Bekimon. Portugal (matagal), capital M! capital M! M! M! M! for emberna mae (imbyerna, or inis or asar), "correctional, babaeng kriminal, nahulog sa kanal, patay!" (translation: tama ka jan, teh) at Mesopotamia (supot). Hahaha. Kalokah. If you follow the Bekimon series on YouTube, That's Entertainment na, sineskwelang pambeki mae pa.
Watch na lang kayo nito: what if Bekimon ang newscaster? Happy weekend, mga utawbelles!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
"Headline Fail"
A friend of mine on facebook quipped that "Reuters is not immune to headline fail". Any better titles for the article below?
Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters
Oregon (Reuters) - Olympic bronze medalist Walter Dix edged out Tyson Gay in the former world champion's hotly-anticipated return to the 200 meters at the Prefontaine Classic Diamond League meeting on Saturday.
In the 110 meters hurdles, American David Oliver recorded the fourth fastest 110 meters hurdles of all time with a 12.90 second run.
Gay, who has been battling a nagging hamstring problem for seven weeks, ran his first 200 of the year in 19.76 seconds to finish just shy of Dix, who took control coming off the bend and stayed in front to win in 19.72.
"It wasn't bad, but I was a little fatigued toward the end," Gay said. "I tried to stay relaxed and bring it home, but it wasn't enough."
Dix, who won the 100 meters and placed second at the U.S. nationals last weekend, said his race experience had helped, "but I'm a little beat up, too."
"I was a little sloppy out of the blocks, but I was able to hold on," he added. "Tyson gave me great competition."
Oliver, the Olympic bronze medalist, equaled Dominique Arnold's national record with his second consecutive lifetime best. He ran 12.93 to win the U.S. championships last Sunday.
Only world record holder Dayron Robles (12.87) of Cuba and China's Liu Xiang have run faster.
"I didn't get a great start but I brought it home," Oliver said.
The American left countryman Ryan Wilson (13.16) well behind in second spot.
Jamaican Veronica Campbell-Brown, the Olympic 200 champion, surprised a talented 100 field with a personal best and season-leading 10.78 seconds to leave her thinking she might double at next year's world championships.
Olympic 100 gold medalist Shelly-Ann Fraser trailed in 10.82, just ahead of American Carmelita Jeter (10.83).
Three other season-leading marks were set.
American world champion Christian Cantwell used a last-effort throw of 22.41 meters to win the shot put, and world indoor 800 meters champion Mariya Savinova of Russia clocked 1:57.56 to beat Olympic 1,500 gold medalist Nancy Langat of Kenya at the shorter distance.
Sudan's Abubaker Kaki added a fifth season-leading mark when he took the infrequently run 1,000 meters in 2:13.62.
Kenyan Olympic 1,500 champion Asbel Kiprop just missed another when he won the mile in 3:49.75.
Olympic long jump champion Irving Saladino of Panama pulled a mild surprise as he used a wind-assisted leap of 8.46 meters to beat U.S. world gold medalist Dwight Phillips (8.41).
Brazilian world indoor gold medalist Fabiana Murer also came out on top, winning the women's pole vault over Polish world champion Anna Rogowska. Both cleared 4.58 meters. U.S. world leader Jenn Shur failed to clear a height.
(Editing by Tony Jimenez/Ian Ransom)
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Technical Difficulties
Friends, thank you for the messages and comments on my emotional diarrhea. I have two more drafts in the works, but I decided to defer posting them. I agree with Soltero na mahirap ma-BJ sa kwartong may Winnie the Pooh wall painting. Chos. Pambihira ka, soltero, pinagana mo imahinasyon ko.
My three formidable enemies now are: my past, my insecurities, and trust issues. But I'll deal with them without blogging much about them.
Di bagay ang emotera sa aking blog, o ang sobrang pag-iinarte. Tama na muna ang igiban ng luha.
Anyhoo, blogger.com was experiencing system error churva. Some of the comments could not be published, like kay Nimmy, dabo, kiks, and soltero.
Pasensya na mga friends.
On the lighter side, I wanna thank Bienvenido Lim aka orallyours, for pointing to me "The Story about the man who didn't believe in love". Thank you, Migs the Manila Gay Guy for sharing that wonderful, wonderful story. Naluha ako sa first five minutes pa lang ng narrative. And the whole piece was moving, very insightful, and very enlightening. At dahil dyan, I bought the whole volume of The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. Hehe.
Thank you, my friends, for the supportive messages and comments to my whining and lamentations.
Monday was an interesting day for me. I was in my usual emotera mode. I messaged Bien and he was free naman to meet up. At nagkita nga kami. We had a short but fun chat. It's nice to meet a blogger na based dito sa Zingapura. Bien, all the best. Definitely, we'll see each other again.
Pagkauwi ko naman, I called my guy, ate Guy. We had the usual casual conversation. Gusto nga akong sampalin ni Bien, kasi sabi ko sa kanya, pag di ko nakakausap o nakakatext si guy, down ako. Pag kausap ko na sya, parang ang saya-saya ko uli. Pag baba ng telepono, down na naman ako. Lukaret lang, db? It turns out that all the emotional episodes of that day were all brought about by my baseless assumptions and suspicions. I thought he didn't call last night because he didn't have as much liking as I did. When in fact, he thought I would be calling him and he was waiting for me to call. Toinks! And yesterday, because I was trying to "detach myself from him", he thought I wasn't in the mood for correspondence. So he gave me some space to cope with myself. Taena, ginisa ko ang sarili ko sa sariling kong Baguio oil.
At the end of the day, nakausap ko sa chat si Eternal Wanderer. Nakakasilaw ang busilak, dalisay at mayumi nyang pagkatao... sa webcam. Hahaha. Echos. Di kami nag-web-cum. Wala daw akong kwentang kausap. Nag-aadjust lang naman ako sa kausap ko eh. Hahaha. Joke-lang bading! Peace tayo, mare. Nakakatuwa kang kausap. Di na to mauulit. Hahahahahaha! Charing.
Happy Hump Day, everyone!
My three formidable enemies now are: my past, my insecurities, and trust issues. But I'll deal with them without blogging much about them.
Di bagay ang emotera sa aking blog, o ang sobrang pag-iinarte. Tama na muna ang igiban ng luha.
Anyhoo, blogger.com was experiencing system error churva. Some of the comments could not be published, like kay Nimmy, dabo, kiks, and soltero.
Pasensya na mga friends.
On the lighter side, I wanna thank Bienvenido Lim aka orallyours, for pointing to me "The Story about the man who didn't believe in love". Thank you, Migs the Manila Gay Guy for sharing that wonderful, wonderful story. Naluha ako sa first five minutes pa lang ng narrative. And the whole piece was moving, very insightful, and very enlightening. At dahil dyan, I bought the whole volume of The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. Hehe.
Thank you, my friends, for the supportive messages and comments to my whining and lamentations.
Monday was an interesting day for me. I was in my usual emotera mode. I messaged Bien and he was free naman to meet up. At nagkita nga kami. We had a short but fun chat. It's nice to meet a blogger na based dito sa Zingapura. Bien, all the best. Definitely, we'll see each other again.
Pagkauwi ko naman, I called my guy, ate Guy. We had the usual casual conversation. Gusto nga akong sampalin ni Bien, kasi sabi ko sa kanya, pag di ko nakakausap o nakakatext si guy, down ako. Pag kausap ko na sya, parang ang saya-saya ko uli. Pag baba ng telepono, down na naman ako. Lukaret lang, db? It turns out that all the emotional episodes of that day were all brought about by my baseless assumptions and suspicions. I thought he didn't call last night because he didn't have as much liking as I did. When in fact, he thought I would be calling him and he was waiting for me to call. Toinks! And yesterday, because I was trying to "detach myself from him", he thought I wasn't in the mood for correspondence. So he gave me some space to cope with myself. Taena, ginisa ko ang sarili ko sa sariling kong Baguio oil.
At the end of the day, nakausap ko sa chat si Eternal Wanderer. Nakakasilaw ang busilak, dalisay at mayumi nyang pagkatao... sa webcam. Hahaha. Echos. Di kami nag-web-cum. Wala daw akong kwentang kausap. Nag-aadjust lang naman ako sa kausap ko eh. Hahaha. Joke-lang bading! Peace tayo, mare. Nakakatuwa kang kausap. Di na to mauulit. Hahahahahaha! Charing.
Happy Hump Day, everyone!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
July Promotions
Gusto kong mag-apila sa BH (bathhouse) na kung saan pwede na kong ideklarang stockholder. Kung tutuusin, ang lakas nila sa akin pagdating sa patronage, pero bakit wala man lang akong nakukuhang perk?
Bakit nung June 12, walang "Philippine Independence Day Special: Free Entry for Pinoys" at walang "free Purefoods Tender Juicy Hotdog, the national hotdog of the Philippines"? Dahil ba malulugi sila pag dinagsa sila ng mga freeloading Pinoy PLU's dito? Tseh!
Tapos, nung July 4, free entry sa mga puti. Imagine the Caucasians that I could've hookep up with on that day. Nah! For all I know, the crowd could've been old and sagging, with strong unpleasant musks on their bodies, looking for asian meat. Ang asim kasi ng ubas na nakain ko today!
Snap out of it, Carrie. Focus. You're in an emotional turmoil now.
Sa katorse naman, mga Pranses. Shet.
I'm gonna be missing a lot this month. Choz.
Tapos, nung July 4, free entry sa mga puti. Imagine the Caucasians that I could've hookep up with on that day. Nah! For all I know, the crowd could've been old and sagging, with strong unpleasant musks on their bodies, looking for asian meat. Ang asim kasi ng ubas na nakain ko today!
Snap out of it, Carrie. Focus. You're in an emotional turmoil now.
Sa katorse naman, mga Pranses. Shet.
I'm gonna be missing a lot this month. Choz.
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Emotional Diarrhea Saga: Unhappy Me
I tried to live my life independently happy from the guy who inspired me to resolution. A life of resolution that I started recently: I avoided the baths (expect the withdrawal symptoms to come in this week); I dropped my fubu (he was happy that I met my soulmate; expect withdrawal symptoms to attack this week, too); and I fixed my room to be conducive to an orderly slumber (hindi ako naglilinis ng kwarto. I'm such a slob). I'm trying to be as busy as possible to turn my back away from the past.
I tried to live as if detached emotionally from the one I'm trying to get to know, so I could have this desired stable and lasting relationship with him. Operative word being "desired". But I realized that my life, in the first place, is boring. There's nothing that actually makes me happy now. He is the one filling that gap that I should've personally satisfied in the first place. What happens now, since he's the one acting as the source of my happiness, I let my emotions take charge of my actions - based on what I feel when I think of him. The more he becomes un-present, the less my focus in my life.
I'm beginning to realize, I do not love myself in a way that I expect people to love me. I spoil my self with lots of sex, because I'm lonely and my friends are not available most of the time. I am hard on myself for the small and big stuff, because I thought the opportunity for redemption rarely comes by. I wanted more from life, yet I'm not doing anything to change my situation.
I was happy with my ex because I had a companion, a partner and a sex mate every time I wanted it. When I make a mistake, he's the one who tells me "it's gonna be fine". When I felt insatiable, he made me feel like I couldn't ask for more when we lived together. Do I really need someone to complete me? How the hell can I complete myself and move on with my life?
Taena, andami ko palang excess baggage.
I tried to live as if detached emotionally from the one I'm trying to get to know, so I could have this desired stable and lasting relationship with him. Operative word being "desired". But I realized that my life, in the first place, is boring. There's nothing that actually makes me happy now. He is the one filling that gap that I should've personally satisfied in the first place. What happens now, since he's the one acting as the source of my happiness, I let my emotions take charge of my actions - based on what I feel when I think of him. The more he becomes un-present, the less my focus in my life.
I'm beginning to realize, I do not love myself in a way that I expect people to love me. I spoil my self with lots of sex, because I'm lonely and my friends are not available most of the time. I am hard on myself for the small and big stuff, because I thought the opportunity for redemption rarely comes by. I wanted more from life, yet I'm not doing anything to change my situation.
I was happy with my ex because I had a companion, a partner and a sex mate every time I wanted it. When I make a mistake, he's the one who tells me "it's gonna be fine". When I felt insatiable, he made me feel like I couldn't ask for more when we lived together. Do I really need someone to complete me? How the hell can I complete myself and move on with my life?
Taena, andami ko palang excess baggage.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Emmodium
"I think, for a relationship to work, dapat pareho kayong masaya independently of each other, but you choose to be together kasi pag magkasama kayo, mas masaya, mas meaningful ang buhay." - Got 2 Believe
Dinale ni Dominic Ochoa ang puson ko. Este, nadale ni Dominic Ochoa ang dapat kong malaman sa panahong ito na nag-e-emoterang baklita akesha.
Dapat masaya ako with myself. No one must complete me but myself. My future partner would be there to make me happier and not sadder when I don't feel his presence.
Di ko na dapat bino-blog ang mga bagay na ito, but this is for my personal reference when I need to be reminded not to be too emotional with the person's absence.
Carrie, you are happy now because you are starting to bring order to your life. Maintain that order, live simply and happy, and most especially learn to trust people and not get ahead with baseless suspicions.
If one day, Carrie, you have not heard from the person and not seen him on a weekend, do not get melancholic. Hindi ka na highschool! Kurutin kita sa singit dyan eh.
Dinale ni Dominic Ochoa ang puson ko. Este, nadale ni Dominic Ochoa ang dapat kong malaman sa panahong ito na nag-e-emoterang baklita akesha.
Dapat masaya ako with myself. No one must complete me but myself. My future partner would be there to make me happier and not sadder when I don't feel his presence.
Di ko na dapat bino-blog ang mga bagay na ito, but this is for my personal reference when I need to be reminded not to be too emotional with the person's absence.
Carrie, you are happy now because you are starting to bring order to your life. Maintain that order, live simply and happy, and most especially learn to trust people and not get ahead with baseless suspicions.
If one day, Carrie, you have not heard from the person and not seen him on a weekend, do not get melancholic. Hindi ka na highschool! Kurutin kita sa singit dyan eh.
Pictures
Nag-aayos ako ng kwarto kahapon. Maghapon ang effort, pero ang sarap ng pakiramdam na malinis ang paligid at minimial ang gamit. At the end of the day, I went to hear mass with my guy, ate Guy. After that, we had dinner and coffee and a nice conversation (gaya-gaya puto maya kay Ternie, hehe). I took some pictures which are safe for work, except for one, I think. Hehe.
Wholesome ang kwarto ko. May painting pa ni Tigger at Pooh, db?
Kumpleto sila, pati si Eeyore at Piglet
Mga supling namin ni ex. I called him "gummy bear", and me unbearable. Choz.
Ondoy relief goods (Bago mag-ayos ng kwarto)
I threw away most of the clutter and my "kids" are happy in their new home.
Friday, July 2, 2010
The Thing With Infatuation
Ang hirap talagang maimpatcho. Sinasaniban na naman si Emily Rose.
May nakilala lang ang abang lingkod ninyo eh parang lukaret na naman ito sa buhay. Nagpost ako ng entry tungkol sa spark. Hindi ko naman iba-blagadag sana ito, kaso nahihirapan na kong i-supress yung nararamdaman ko eh. Mukha na kong kiss and tell person, kasi kung sinu-sino na pinagtanungan ko about my situation.
Ang hirap eh, marunong ako sa theoretical, hinihingan ako ng payo ng ibang tao, pero sarili ko di ko matulungan. I'm writing this now as part of diversion. I need to distract myself from getting too emotional about my situation.
Mababaw lang naman. I met this guy recently, and in the first three days of our communication (sms, email, phone calls), I fell for him too fast, too soon, too furious. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me - what felt like four buckets of cold water. Echos. He was not in his element, was furious at something or someone, and was having a really bad day. In plaza fair and fair mart, he explained to me why he couldn't sms me and tried to reply to my emails when he could.
I started to feel uneasy. After the fourth day, he still was not in his element. I think. If he used to send me long messages during the jovial times of three days, he would send me short ones now. And I tried to reach out, but he has no reply. And I started to feel bothered and anxious.
I talked to my good friend McVie and asked for his advice. Thank you, Joel, for slapping me with the reality. Atat lang talaga akesha marquez. Masyadong high school with pimples, as you said. Masyado akong pinangungunahan ng mga emosyon ko. Mano ba namang maging emosyonal ako sa tatlong araw lang ng malugod na pag-uusap at manlumo sa isang araw lang ng kalamigan?
You told me that I am allowing him to control me, because I let my emotions center on him, and that my emotions are starting to control my actions. You are correct, my friend. The reason why I couldn't concentrate on work, why I keep on thinking about him when my mind tells me to give him some space for the meantime, the reason why my chest is aching for nothing is because I'm infatuated with him and not in love.
He had me at my best, according to Basha.
May gamot ba kayo sa impacho?
May nakilala lang ang abang lingkod ninyo eh parang lukaret na naman ito sa buhay. Nagpost ako ng entry tungkol sa spark. Hindi ko naman iba-blagadag sana ito, kaso nahihirapan na kong i-supress yung nararamdaman ko eh. Mukha na kong kiss and tell person, kasi kung sinu-sino na pinagtanungan ko about my situation.
Ang hirap eh, marunong ako sa theoretical, hinihingan ako ng payo ng ibang tao, pero sarili ko di ko matulungan. I'm writing this now as part of diversion. I need to distract myself from getting too emotional about my situation.
Mababaw lang naman. I met this guy recently, and in the first three days of our communication (sms, email, phone calls), I fell for him too fast, too soon, too furious. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me - what felt like four buckets of cold water. Echos. He was not in his element, was furious at something or someone, and was having a really bad day. In plaza fair and fair mart, he explained to me why he couldn't sms me and tried to reply to my emails when he could.
I started to feel uneasy. After the fourth day, he still was not in his element. I think. If he used to send me long messages during the jovial times of three days, he would send me short ones now. And I tried to reach out, but he has no reply. And I started to feel bothered and anxious.
I talked to my good friend McVie and asked for his advice. Thank you, Joel, for slapping me with the reality. Atat lang talaga akesha marquez. Masyadong high school with pimples, as you said. Masyado akong pinangungunahan ng mga emosyon ko. Mano ba namang maging emosyonal ako sa tatlong araw lang ng malugod na pag-uusap at manlumo sa isang araw lang ng kalamigan?
You told me that I am allowing him to control me, because I let my emotions center on him, and that my emotions are starting to control my actions. You are correct, my friend. The reason why I couldn't concentrate on work, why I keep on thinking about him when my mind tells me to give him some space for the meantime, the reason why my chest is aching for nothing is because I'm infatuated with him and not in love.
He had me at my best, according to Basha.
May gamot ba kayo sa impacho?
Thursday, July 1, 2010
That Thing called Spark
I was googling "how to tell a spark" and the world wide web returned hits like "how to replace spark plugs", or "how to tell if a spark plug is not working".
So I rephrased my search to 'spark of love'.
The first hit was I think covered my question on sparks of love - Do you think that the "spark" of love begins as a physical, emotional, or intellectual attraction?
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/403857
Answer - the spark of Love starts with the emotional...the spark of interest would be physical
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/403857#ixzz0sCZyHPTw
This particular reply made me, "ah, ganun pala." Ignoramus? Hehe.
Some netizens say it's physical, some say the spark starts with the physical, physical, I wanna get physicaaaaal (let's get into physical!) debbie gibson just possessed me. And so, the exorcism of emily rose.
Some commenters believe that the spark of love starts in the intellectual level:
For me, attraction begins at an intellectual level. If you don't have anything substantial to bring to the table - stimulating conversation, life experience and maturity - then I don't have time for you.
In 99% of my relationships, I have been friends with my partner before beginning a sexual relationship with them. I guess it could be construed as emotional as well since I tend to care more over time.
I've always said the way to my pants is through my head and I am very blessed that I found a man who stimulates me on ALL three levels.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/403857#ixzz0sCbXRXps
Others say they get the spark in the emotional form.
I personally experience the spark of interest as a first step towards connecting with the person in an intimate level. Physical attraction is a factor, but doesn't hold as much weight as the intellectual aspect of the spark. I believe there's also an emotional side to it - the mixed feelings of happiness and anxiety when you think about the person or see him/her.
Dear readers, where do you think the spark of love starts on your side?
So I rephrased my search to 'spark of love'.
The first hit was I think covered my question on sparks of love - Do you think that the "spark" of love begins as a physical, emotional, or intellectual attraction?
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/403857
Answer - the spark of Love starts with the emotional...the spark of interest would be physical
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/403857#ixzz0sCZyHPTw
This particular reply made me, "ah, ganun pala." Ignoramus? Hehe.
Some netizens say it's physical, some say the spark starts with the physical, physical, I wanna get physicaaaaal (let's get into physical!) debbie gibson just possessed me. And so, the exorcism of emily rose.
Some commenters believe that the spark of love starts in the intellectual level:
For me, attraction begins at an intellectual level. If you don't have anything substantial to bring to the table - stimulating conversation, life experience and maturity - then I don't have time for you.
In 99% of my relationships, I have been friends with my partner before beginning a sexual relationship with them. I guess it could be construed as emotional as well since I tend to care more over time.
I've always said the way to my pants is through my head and I am very blessed that I found a man who stimulates me on ALL three levels.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/403857#ixzz0sCbXRXps
Others say they get the spark in the emotional form.
I personally experience the spark of interest as a first step towards connecting with the person in an intimate level. Physical attraction is a factor, but doesn't hold as much weight as the intellectual aspect of the spark. I believe there's also an emotional side to it - the mixed feelings of happiness and anxiety when you think about the person or see him/her.
Dear readers, where do you think the spark of love starts on your side?
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