"Balahura ka, friend!" exclaimed GC, a female friend. I couldn't justify my flirting with cute guy CG. He and the birthday celebrant was an item.
Or so I thought.
On facebook: CG has sent a message.
Think that I am doing a huge mistake, but I want to ask you if you can be my best friend? Literally... Someone I can trust. I am hopeless and I need someone. Just let me know whatever your decision is. Please don't tell (celebrant) first, surely he will be mad.
If having a boyfriend can be achieved in days or weeks, can a best friend be found in a day? Of course not, you have to earn it through years of bonding and mutual experiences.
We met up for dinner, just so we can discuss the problem that's been eating him up for a long time already. When I brought it up, he said he's not yet ready to reveal it. I wanted to smack him right there and then. But I can't. He looks adorable.
"Please don't think I'm the celebrants's boyfriend. We're not a couple."
I wasn't relieved by the statement or sad for my friend or remorse or whatever. I was glad I saw him again. That was all that mattered to me.
"Your friend wanted us to be more than just friends. I could only offer him my friendship. He said he already had a bestfriend. I felt dumped."
As I see it, my friend offered a relationship this guy couldn't accept, and so my friend must've thought he got dumped. This guy offered only friendship and my friend refused, and so the guy thought he got dumped.
We chatted for hours, and I poured my heart out to him. I told him about my past relationships, my bookings (and explained what a booking was), but I'm not yet ready to talk about the bathhouse. Too soon to tell him. He already got surprised about how sexually active I am. In other words, ako pa yung nag-confide sa kanya.
"Here's the deal. I want to have someone I could call my best friend. Someone I could trust and tell my secrets to. Someone I can sympathize with during times of personal crisis and problems. Someone I could hug.
"I can never be your boyfriend. You can expect me to cuddle with you in bed, hold me, kiss me, but no sex. No kissing on the lips, no exchange of fluids, no grabbing of the crotch, whatsoever.
"I'm still the type of person who wants to have a family, who wants to make love to a girl..."
"It's a deal." I answered, after a long silence and pondering.
I had to question his approaching a gay man to be his best friend. He said if I knew his problem, I would agree that he did the right choice of confidant, that I can only listen to his problems but may not offer solution, that I can never get involved in a complicated situation.
That ever elusive problem was the riddle of that night.
I guess people will never understand us for accepting each other as confidants.
Showing posts with label echoserye. Show all posts
Showing posts with label echoserye. Show all posts
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Echoserye ep 1 - Nang Magmaganda si Petra
"Thanks for going out with me tonight."
"No, I should thank you for asking me out. Kumusta ang Singapore?"
"Singapura pa rin, walang pinagbago. Same old, same old."
...
It was a friendly date. Friendly, but arranged. I asked if he could be my date on my birthday. I thought his partner was away, as in out of the country, as the latter's a frequent traveller. Before he went back to Manila to settle for good, he was working here in Singapore. We got introduced, he knew I liked him, we went out once, and I had one of the sweetest yet painful memories I could keep with me. At that time, I never felt like an option. Because I was not an option at all.
Six bottles of beer later, I blurted something I wished innards were the ones thrown up instead. I told him we could always be friends. For me, he was the partner I could never have.
He understood that it wasn't the alcohol talking. It was still myself with inhibitions killed by the spirits.
He argued that if given the chance in the past, we could've been a couple. I wanted to believe that.
Before he returned to Manila for good, he had a crazy but fun and worthwhile time here. Crazy in the sense that work was hectic, the schedule unbearable especially in his industry, and the professional demands are high. But it was fun and worthwhile because he had friends to hang out with, admirers who liked him, and suitors who pursued him.
Now, he's working in a major, major, super major company in Manila, where he's exposed to really good looking people, and he's being presented with offers for even greater exposure through media. But he refused that. He's a fairly simple person. He tells me how people would want to have a piece of him - sexually or intimately, but he doesn't succumb to that. He doesn't have time for that, and that he's very focused on his budding career. He lives a very healthy lifestyle and keeps a good set of friends around him. You could consider him trophy boyfriend, yes.
After I spilled the beans to him, he revealed that he split up with his partner.
Regardless of anything, I wanted to believe that we could've had a chance. Do you think if a couple of nice, well-off Caucasians never pursued you in the past, would you go for an average Pinoy worker, if you're based in Singapore? I'm not belittling myself. Nor am I type-casting him as a typical white chaser. Singapore has it's share of beautiful people, and the lucky ones have fortune on their side.
For me, if you really like the person, no matter who are presented in front of you, you will choose that person.
I wanted to entertain the possibility that was mentioned, but I think it's not gonna happen for us.
He's a good person, though. And I didn't want to lose him as a friend. I never felt this way towards a guy: I would shut out a person if I found out I'm just an option and realizing there'd be no chance for us at all. But he's different. This is different.
It was a friendly date that had almost gone bad. I shouldn't have brought up the topic of frustrated affairs. But for what it's worth, we put formal closure to an unsettled business in the past. Nevertheless, I had a great time with him on the eve of my birthday.
"No, I should thank you for asking me out. Kumusta ang Singapore?"
"Singapura pa rin, walang pinagbago. Same old, same old."
...
It was a friendly date. Friendly, but arranged. I asked if he could be my date on my birthday. I thought his partner was away, as in out of the country, as the latter's a frequent traveller. Before he went back to Manila to settle for good, he was working here in Singapore. We got introduced, he knew I liked him, we went out once, and I had one of the sweetest yet painful memories I could keep with me. At that time, I never felt like an option. Because I was not an option at all.
Six bottles of beer later, I blurted something I wished innards were the ones thrown up instead. I told him we could always be friends. For me, he was the partner I could never have.
He understood that it wasn't the alcohol talking. It was still myself with inhibitions killed by the spirits.
He argued that if given the chance in the past, we could've been a couple. I wanted to believe that.
Before he returned to Manila for good, he had a crazy but fun and worthwhile time here. Crazy in the sense that work was hectic, the schedule unbearable especially in his industry, and the professional demands are high. But it was fun and worthwhile because he had friends to hang out with, admirers who liked him, and suitors who pursued him.
Now, he's working in a major, major, super major company in Manila, where he's exposed to really good looking people, and he's being presented with offers for even greater exposure through media. But he refused that. He's a fairly simple person. He tells me how people would want to have a piece of him - sexually or intimately, but he doesn't succumb to that. He doesn't have time for that, and that he's very focused on his budding career. He lives a very healthy lifestyle and keeps a good set of friends around him. You could consider him trophy boyfriend, yes.
After I spilled the beans to him, he revealed that he split up with his partner.
Regardless of anything, I wanted to believe that we could've had a chance. Do you think if a couple of nice, well-off Caucasians never pursued you in the past, would you go for an average Pinoy worker, if you're based in Singapore? I'm not belittling myself. Nor am I type-casting him as a typical white chaser. Singapore has it's share of beautiful people, and the lucky ones have fortune on their side.
For me, if you really like the person, no matter who are presented in front of you, you will choose that person.
I wanted to entertain the possibility that was mentioned, but I think it's not gonna happen for us.
He's a good person, though. And I didn't want to lose him as a friend. I never felt this way towards a guy: I would shut out a person if I found out I'm just an option and realizing there'd be no chance for us at all. But he's different. This is different.
It was a friendly date that had almost gone bad. I shouldn't have brought up the topic of frustrated affairs. But for what it's worth, we put formal closure to an unsettled business in the past. Nevertheless, I had a great time with him on the eve of my birthday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)