Kisses and Spanks

I haven’t heard from you for more than a week. I confided to you that I was negative in my HIV test just as a heads up. I was thinking you were too swamped with work. Or you didn’t receive the message at all. You said you wanted to be more than bed buddies, but that hasn’t progressed much nor went any farther. I’m still baffled by your silence.


As I browsed the website, your profile was the third most kissed and the most spanked. I shouldn’t get affected because it’s just an indicator of your popularity. I shouldn’t feel my chest twinge because you really have a cute wacky picture. I shouldn’t get anxious because I’m just your bed buddy.

But why do I feel insecure? At the back of my mind, you’re possibly engaged to another user, planning a session or the next. You’re may be getting invitations to have fun with them. Or I’m guessing that you want variety in your menu.

Whatever it is, I feel stupid. Until now, the admin has not yet deleted my account. I didn’t go there to hook up, but to look at the Hotbods section and a weird feeling that someone might have posted a missed connection to me. After all, I had an eye contact with a chinito guy at combat class last night. Baka-sakali lang. Lo and behold, there really was a shoutout of a missed connection with my name on it. Pero sa ibang lugar nga lang – sa facial center kung saan ako nagpa-appointment.

But I digress. I looked up the shouter’s codename, and I stumbled upon yours smothered in pink kisses and naughty spanks. It hurts a bit. My narrow perspective in life wedges like a rusty knife. I have to accept that a loser like me shouldn’t expect much from our affair.