Safeguard, Please

Sira na ang panata. Nakipaglaro ako sa totoy ko kagabi. Madumi na uli ako.

Since abstain ako sa sex with another person and the bathhouse, iba-blog ko na lang yung dalawa kong friendivas.

Friend 1: the bonggang late bloomer

Mid-thirties guy, just enjoyed the gay life. Ngayon lang (as in lately lang) sya nagkaroon ng booking kaliwa't kanan, araw-araw, minsan pa nga dalawa sa isang araw - with matching conflict or back up plan yata. Lander Veraperez look-alike, 5'11", and photogenic. Since he signed up for personal training, his face looked younger and fresher, and his body a bit toned (though he still has stubborn fats and flabs in the belly area). Delicioso. Al dente. Chos.

He has never gone to the baths and he has no intentions of going to one. He gets his catch from planet romeo, the bar, and the disco. He usually recycles, but there are days when he gets new boys. New as in first time nyang natikman and not necessarily virgins. He has so much physical potential. What more if he attains a really nice body, one to die for?

The downside is, he's getting more promiscuous everyday. And we don't even know if the boyfriend overseas knows about it. Feeling ko, pinasa ko ang korona sa kanya. Hindi eh. He made a new title for himself. Ang kasalanan ko ay kunsintihin sya.

Been there been that na ko sa ganyang tahakin sa buhay. Pero iba pala ang pakiramdam pag nasa labas ka ng sitwasyon at nakikita mo ang buong pangyayari, kesa nasa loob ka. Nakita ko kasi sarili ko sa kanya nung mga panahong nagloloko ako sa likuran ng lover ko. Nung time na yun, di ko na-realize na napaka-selfish ko. Na sarili ko iniisip ko at di yung relationship namin, lalo na yung mararamdaman nya pag nalaman nya ang tungkol sa mga kalokohan ko.

Nung time na attached pa ko, I wanted my "sexual needs" to be satisfied, kasi una tao lang at pangalawa I was in a long distance but exclusive relationship. Since hindi yun mapunan ng partner ko due to the setup, I had no choice but to look for it somewhere else. In the end, when my "needs" are met, I'd feel guilty and tell my friends. My friends, being friends, they'd justify that to me. For the sake of being transparent, I'd confess that to my other half.

Now that I'm single and I'm seeing these things again in my friend's situation, I feel guilty for condoning him. I'm starting to miss the old him when I first met him. Cute, chubby, pero innocent, behaved, and malinis. Not everyhting was mentioned in this entry, but some other (unmentioned) details are really not pleasant to air and it'd be unfair to that person - ngayon pang siniwalat ko na promiscuous sya, di burr?

Ang point ko, sana pag gumanda ka o maganda ka na, wag maging reverse ang lifestyle. Cherish the love that you have. Never destroy the love in your heart.

It doesn't also mean na pag single ka, mas may karapatan kang makipaglaro sa apoy. Apoy yan. Walang sinasanto. Lahat ay tutupukin nyan at papasuin. Nakamamatay.

I'm blogging about this kasi I just feel sad and it's all coming back to me like celine dion.

Coming up: Friend 2 - I'm not gonna make dala you to the bathhouse. I've done that before and I don't wanna do it again.

Penge nga ng safeguard! Chos.