A Healthy Perspective

I owe myself an explanation, and my friends and kumares who expressed their concern and sympathy. Thank you. Sabaw na ko kahapon in real life, pati ba naman sa blogosphere? Kalokah.


Hindi gimmick or pakana yung entry ko about depression. Yeah, nagpapansin ako, pero dahil sa comments nyo, naibsan naman nang slight yung nararamdaman ko.

What could've triggered this feeling are a lot of things - low self-esteem, the repercussions of past mistakes and negligence, and insecurities that are difficult to remove.
 
But what came to my rescue was McVie's advice to me: have a healthy perspective - of myself, my sexual habits, my life, etc. With his words in mind, yeah, I could overcome this depression.
 
For the low self-esteem - I need to tell myself that I need to work hard for something because people believe in my potential. They may not promote me now, or make me pass a course, but the fact that they did not give failing marks or that they just withheld me from clearance, means I still can continue to work on improving my skill. It may take time, it will, but I think the work will pay off. 
 
As regards my insecurities, I have to believe in myself. I may not be the best, but I can still do the things I want to do. It may not be my craft, but I have the skill - the skill which I can develop further. I may  not be the best in the field, but I'm still good at what I do. There may be no channels for training, but I believe that the opportunity will come at the right time.
 
I can never bring back the past, but I can correct my mistakes by learning from them. I haven't cleaned up the mess yet, but sooner or later, I'll be fixing my situation. My choices and decisions brought me to where I am now, and there may sometimes be regrets and at times satisfaction. But I have to tell myself to be happy for the blessings and the good things I'm getting in life. I could've benefitted more, had I made more correct choices and decisions. But this present isn't as bad as it seems.
 
Now that I've hit rock bottom, there's no other way but up. But how far upwards do I wanna go? I'd like to think I wanna take advantage of it and enjoy my way there, rather than bring it so high so soon, that I'd fall again so much faster, sooner, and harder than the last.