The Thing With Infatuation

Ang hirap talagang maimpatcho. Sinasaniban na naman si Emily Rose.

May nakilala lang ang abang lingkod ninyo eh parang lukaret na naman ito sa buhay. Nagpost ako ng entry tungkol sa spark. Hindi ko naman iba-blagadag sana ito, kaso nahihirapan na kong i-supress yung nararamdaman ko eh. Mukha na kong kiss and tell person, kasi kung sinu-sino na pinagtanungan ko about my situation.

Ang hirap eh, marunong ako sa theoretical, hinihingan ako ng payo ng ibang tao, pero sarili ko di ko matulungan. I'm writing this now as part of diversion. I need to distract myself from getting too emotional about my situation.

Mababaw lang naman. I met this guy recently, and in the first three days of our communication (sms, email, phone calls), I fell for him too fast, too soon, too furious. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me - what felt like four buckets of cold water. Echos. He was not in his element, was furious at something or someone, and was having a really bad day. In plaza fair and fair mart, he explained to me why he couldn't sms me and tried to reply to my emails when he could.

I started to feel uneasy. After the fourth day, he still was not in his element. I think. If he used to send me long messages during the jovial times of three days, he would send me short ones now. And I tried to reach out, but he has no reply. And I started to feel bothered and anxious.

I talked to my good friend McVie and asked for his advice. Thank you, Joel, for slapping me with the reality. Atat lang talaga akesha marquez. Masyadong high school with pimples, as you said. Masyado akong pinangungunahan ng mga emosyon ko. Mano ba namang maging emosyonal ako sa tatlong araw lang ng malugod na pag-uusap at manlumo sa isang araw lang ng kalamigan?

You told me that I am allowing him to control me, because I let my emotions center on him, and that my emotions are starting to control my actions. You are correct, my friend. The reason why I couldn't concentrate on work, why I keep on thinking about him when my mind tells me to give him some space for the meantime, the reason why my chest is aching for nothing is because I'm infatuated with him and not in love.

He had me at my best, according to Basha.

May gamot ba kayo sa impacho?